Epilepsy and Mental Health
Its been a while and a LOT has happened!!
In November of last year after months of unexplained seizures I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.
Although it was expected after several months of appointments with medical professionals and specialists, being given a diagnosis that is going to affect how you live your life will never be easy.
When people think of Epilepsy, they usually only think of the seizures, the physical injuries that are often caused and the physical exhaustion. However, there is so much more to it than that. The toll it takes on your mental health is huge and isn't often talked about. My mental health has been hugely impacted since having the seizures and even more so since receiving the diagnosis.
In August of last year I had a seizure in public whilst I was my own, whilst I was safe because I was helped by shop workers, the fear of waking up from a seizure in a place that is 'strange' and not familiar is hard in itself. Since having that seizure in public, I always feel vulnerable when I do go out in case I do have another seizure in public. The anxiety it brings to every aspect of your life is hard.
For me, what I have found the hardest is the loss of independence, before all of this, I was very independent and confident to an extent. So, when the seizures started having my independence and confidence taken away was difficult. It's the simple things in life people take for granted (like I did) that suddenly become the things you miss and appreciate the most when you can't do them.
Simple things like having a bath, taking the dog out for a walk by myself, going shopping by myself were taken away and these were just a small number of things that helped with my mental health. So, I've had to suddenly find new ways to try and deal with everything I'm struggling with mentally.
My anxiety at the moment, is the worst I've ever known it to be. Although its been nearly 2 months since my diagnosis, I am still processing it, I'm still trying to make sure I know everything I can about Epilepsy and I'm just still trying to process that, for now at least, my life does have to be a bit different in order to make sure that I'm safe. That in itself is not easy!!
People always say that once you have a diagnosis it makes things a lot easier and whilst it does in some ways, it doesn't in others. Once you have the diagnosis it's then about finding the right treatments and medications, its often trial and error with treatments too.
A diagnosis doesn't make it all better and it doesn't mean people can get back on with life the way they were beforehand. It takes time and patience.
Not only is having mental health illnesses daunting and hard in itself, to then add an Epilepsy diagnosis on top of that makes life even harder.
Unfortunately there is not enough awareness about Epilepsy, but I hope sharing my story and my experiences will create even a little bit more awareness.
If you don't know basic seizure first aid, look below and take note, this is so important!
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