My unstable mind and me

Life took over and I needed a break from the blogging world, but I’m back.  I find blogging my ‘escape’ and I need that right now. After such a busy few months I’m now in the middle of a relapse.  For me, admitting to not only others but myself that I’m not ok is hard, like it is for many others, however I’ve took that step and I’m glad. I’ve registered with a new GP and I finally felt listened to after months of not being listened to by a GP. I’ve found both the mix of medication and therapy to work for me. The medication side of this is hard, not every antidepressant works for everyone. After over a year of being on one type of antidepressant and it not working despite dose changes, I’ve been moved onto new medication.  As many people on antidepressants will know the side effects are horrible and yes, I’m in the middle of this. However, it’s important to know that it will end.  In the past few weeks I’ve found I’ve not been feeling myself, although I still laugh and sm

This month has been a bit of a crazy one for me, and my mental health has been very up and down.  I’ve had a ‘stable’ few months with my mental health, so to then start having bad days was hard. This month I’ve had days when my anxiety has been really bad, I’ve not wanted to leave the house, I’ve cried, I’ve been feeling low but that’s all part of the journey to recovery.  However, this month I achieved something I never thought I would. This month I stood up in a room full of strangers and spoke about life as a carer. For me, this was huge, I was extremely anxious for days before, on the day I felt physically sick with anxiety but I never let that stop me! With a bit of encouragement I challenged my anxiety and I did it!  It’s so important you don’t let your mental health take over your life. I did for so long, I stayed in bed for days, I didn’t leave the house and I pushed everyone away but that didn’t help, it just made things worse. Whereas now if I’m havin

**TW - SELF HARM** Isn’t it crazy how much can change in a year...  This time last year I was being referred to a psychiatrist and was probably at one of my lowest points, I didn’t see a point to life and I was self-harming regularly. At this point last year was when I was put onto medication and was told counselling would be the best way forward for me.  Months passed and the medication started to work, I was going through counselling and I actually started to see a future for myself. The counselling was helping me understand my thoughts and feelings a lot more and it helped me identify triggers, which was a huge step for me. Fast forward to now, a year on, although I’m not fully ‘recovered’ I am a much more confident person. The only professional I am now under is a mental health nurse, but I will be discharged in 2 weeks and will be put onto the waiting list for CBT! Yay!  Therapy and medication has worked for me, I still have bad days like everyone else, but compa

I can’t quite think of one word that sums up my 2018, it’s been a challenging, draining year but has also been a year with some amazing opportunities.  Never did I think I would have to step up several times to look after several family members, however it has taught me some valuable lessons. I have been in a predicament were no services would help so I had to provide care myself to some of my loved ones which at times was extremely difficult, but this gave me an insight into what it is like for a large proportion of our population. An extremely huge number of people care for their loved ones and do this without any help and support as there is not enough services out there that provide this. However, in my time of need I was able to access a Carers Centre were I felt listened to and I was given the help and support I needed as a carer. This all happened at the beginning of the year and it was when I noticed my mental health deteriorating again. This time I knew I nee

One question I often think about is:  ‘Why is there still so much stigma around mental health?’  I’m 18 and have suffered with mental health issues for a number of years and one thing that would be helpful is for more people to be more understanding and less to be judgemental.  This year has been a hard year for me, however the past few months have been some of the hardest. A lot of things can happen in someone’s personal life that other people don’t see, know about or understand. The last few months in particular have been a struggle, in which I’ve struggled both mentally and physically.  In June was when I first started counselling and I was very sceptical about this, I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t think it would work. However, after 4 months, in October I finished counselling. At the beginning of the sessions one of the main things that was established was I tried to fix everyone else and their problems and wasn’t focusing on myself. At

Mental health still has a massive stigma attached to it. For me I've always tried to be positive on my blog, however, not everyday is a positive day for people who are living with a mental health illness.   Having a mental health illness can be very exhausting, feeling fine when you wake up and then slowly declining throughout the day is exhausting and frustrating. This is how I’ve been feeling the last few months, I will have days when I’m fine, I’m happy and then I will have days when I’m low in mood, extremely anxious and don’t want to do anything. The past 3-4 months low mood and anxiety has definitely taken over me. When I finished college in June I didn’t have anything to focus on, throughout the summer I isolated myself, didn’t want to do anything apart from lay in bed, I was extremely anxious everyday and I was having negative thoughts on a regular basis. This for me was draining and very hard to cope with on a daily basis. Battling with my own thoughts and feelings d